I had shifted into my new apartment and I was struggling to
settle myself in this new space, so I started early that Sunday .I still
remember it was the first week of October and there was a single potted plant
in the balcony, ‘blue daze’ with dew drops on the petals .I reached for the closet
and here I found a letter, the writing in black ink made me eager to open it. Each
word immersed me more into what she must have felt while writing it .When I
think about that letter today, I feel as if I knew that girl, as if our eyes
had met across the street .An excerpt from the letter which I still carry with
me-
Dear James
When I think of you and me and how we met and what we share,
it fills me with those kinds of feelings for which you wait for an eternity .You
came in my life and I did not meet someone new but someone I had long lost in
the history of time .I met you through words, and through those words I made a picture
of your smiles, your eyes, the touch and the breath.
I do not talk about us to anyone anymore, for them it would
be a matter of momentary detour in the monotony of life, they won’t understand
how a long lost soul craves for that lost companionship, and they would steal
my awe about us by merely dismissing it as a poetic glitch. I know how real it
is in this ever diminishing world. The void being filled after all these years
thinking of me as a person unworthy of someone’s love. There are so many
questions on this path of logic, but in the true sense the tree and I would
give you the same answer.
My dear always remember, my love for you is not a keepsake to
carry, not a medal to honor you, and neither it will ask for an answer and
neither is it a golden cage to elude you. Keep me in the sound of your laughter;
keep me in your exaltations, in your writings and in your surreal word where I won’t
be touched with incertitude, just safe in your beautiful mind and would be waiting to be in your arms again.
When you think of me, remember me as the same girl who
blossomed with your love and was waiting for you in the hall when we first met,
in the same black dress which you fell for, for our dance which we could not have,
sealing the sways between us, away from time, let’s do it this time. Look into
my eyes James; they would be smiling back at you, for that moment your grief
would be mine. When I would leave this mortal form, you will find me in the
flowers around you, all of them, different hues of my life and how playfully I
loved you all this while. Do not be sad when you look at them because I would
always belong to you.
Today I have made myself immortal to you through this letter,
preserve me with your fondness.
Yours Lovingly,
Emma
There was no date on the letter; I wanted to know did they ever meet again? What happened to them .I wanted to know how they looked like. Did
James ever replied to this letter or it never got posted.
My cheeks were wet and I had lost track of time. That day I
spent the whole evening looking at the sky and that potted plant .Maybe they
looked like the gloam which was slowly settling in, they both filled my room
with their pain of separation.
