It was a Sunday evening , the one which is more thoughtful than lazy. Naina chose to spend it alone that day near the beach.She closed her eyes as waves touched her feet and then receded back just like her thoughts were playing inside her head.
She was back in the bathtub crying over her broken heart.She was back in the car where she had her first kiss and when everything turned sour, then to the last day at her favourite workplace , then to the first day in the city and then to an empty mind and everything looked like a 'gala dinner where no one turned up'.She was feeling her every failure in fraction of seconds again and again.Since the beginning she had a habit of giving timelines to every dream of her's and biggest space occupied the search for her one true love.But it did not happen , every soulmate hope ended up in no mates but only tough lessons.Sometimes you want things badly enough and eventually it becomes a source of sadness and not optimism.She went through the same thing.She forgot to give time some time.
Walking back she decided to drop by her favourite cafe and just sit with her thoughts and go through every lesson she learnt in her early twenties about love through those sleepless nights and her dear girlfriends who always stood there like strong pillars.She started scribbling over her notebook with every sip of her soothing Irish coffee :
1. We can never choose who will enter our lives and how we will start feeling about them and also their reasons of leaving.You just gracefully let go (it comes eventually)
2.People decide not to choose you when life gives them choices , don't convince them they have already thought about it.Let them go.
3.A beautiful face may not have a big heart.But a big heart always is beautiful.
4.When something ends.It really ends and nothing remains the same.Always look forward because people change and our needs change.
5.Always be true to yourself and the person you love.Being vulnerable is a strength even when it makes you look weak.In the end it will make sense (trust me on this one!)
6.Love and sex will always be different.One is an act another is a feeling.
7.If you think the person in love with you can see you in pain and still does not act , think again.Love is not about letting the other person suffer , it comforts you , it makes your experience called Life better everyday.
8.If they are not ready for you , they are speaking the truth,don't romanticise it.Move ahead with the happiness that someone was honest to you.
9.Red lipstick can always make you look beautiful.
10.When you can't figure out when will that person with whom you will have endless conversations with , who will wait for you at the airport , the one who will tolerate your weird pyjamas and PMS moods , the one who will choose you everyday of greying hair and saggy skin .My suggestion is to stop trying to figure out , we don't have to honestly , our meeting is already planned with that person like a surprise birthday party.Always remember even that person is equally waiting to meet you.
As a last thought Naina stood up reminding herself life is full of failures and rejections , we just need to embrace that part of ours with our very own unconditional love.
Naina shifted to a new city , sketched new dreams and yes she wore red lipstick now and then.
PS : This is the last blog to beau geste.